............his beer and said, “Here's to spending the rest of  

me life, between the legs of me wife!”  

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!  

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best  

toast of the night.”  

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”  

John said, “Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church  

beside me wife.”  

“Oh, that's very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.  

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street  

corner.  

The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize last night  

at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”  

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself you know, after all he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!”