On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped  

in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the  

parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky you cow!"  

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and  

forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the  

parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky you  

bitch!"  

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still  

no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's  

approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now,bitch,  

or I'll give you a slap."  

Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown  

out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards  

the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly you're a  

lippy bastard!"