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"Ask Satan"
Advice Column

Dear Darkness,

I ALWAYS fantasize about fucking every guy my friends go out with. And I am sooo into the fact that they divulge every detail of their sex lives with me. The only thing is that one of my friends has noooo clue that I'm sleeping with her boyfriend. Should I continue or move on to my other friends boyfriends?

- NYMPH

Dear Nymph,

You fat lazy slut. Congratulations! I mean why bother to go out and find someone on your own and risk any sort of emotional involvement when you can live out a shallow, meaningless sex-filled existence? Just sit around and let your friends bring the guys by. And for Satan's sake, don't tell anyone what you're doing - this might interrupt that supply of gratifying, character building cock you've become so dependent on. If you think this stuff is fun now, wait until your friends start getting married! Adultery is such a rush! And I hope you're not using that bullshit birth control stuff either - the complications of pregnancy and disease add to the enjoyment. Good work. With friends like you, who needs Satan?

Hell Awaits,
Satan

Satan@hcmf.com

Shakespearean 'Snap'
of the Minute

Shakespeare "I do frown on thee with all my heart, and if my eyes can wound, now let them kill thee."

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Joke Forum Info posted on Mon 19 Jul 04 19:55:40

At least 10 years old - but topical by puternut on Sat 22 Mar 03 13:25

NT lol by bigfun on Sat 22 Mar 03 17:17

Anyone interested in Charlie toons? by Guy Melef on Sat 22 Mar 03 08:41

mad scientist telecomm labs by redfish on Fri 21 Mar 03 00:46

hah! I knew I was the ONLY one... by sonoftort on Thu 20 Mar 03 22:50

NMNT thought it said "lack of sheep" :-) by redfish on Fri 21 Mar 03 00:43
- NT oops typo... it WAS meant to ;-) by sonoftort on Fri 21 Mar 03 02:58

To pass the time... by homeg3 on Thu 20 Mar 03 16:56

NT thanks homeg3, i got 32 of them :-) by captain caveman on Fri 21 Mar 03 12:33

(jpg) boobspotters... by sonoftort on Wed 19 Mar 03 21:26

NMNT why wasn't that chart on the wall in sex ed.? lol by DirtyBuck on Wed 19 Mar 03 22:24
NT nice selection, thank sot. by bigwig on Thu 20 Mar 03 13:16

Dear Mr. Abby by DirtyBuck on Wed 19 Mar 03 18:56

NT lol, thanks dirtybuck by captain caveman on Wed 19 Mar 03 19:02
NT if only the world we lived in,were this normal.lol by sonoftort on Wed 19 Mar 03 21:30
NT Hilarious, thanks DirtyBuck! by nowhereman on Thu 20 Mar 03 15:33

I'll give it a shot.... by homeg3 on Wed 19 Mar 03 14:59

NT Lol, and eww! ;-) by nowhereman on Wed 19 Mar 03 15:59
NT lol by bigfun on Wed 19 Mar 03 18:58
lol......... by DirtyBuck on Wed 19 Mar 03 19:01

My Dog Sex by DirtyBuck on Tue 18 Mar 03 19:56

NMNT congrats on your "Face" dude. You deserve it. :-) by sonoftort on Tue 18 Mar 03 22:44
lol... I actually have a cat named numb-nuts by Stanky on Wed 19 Mar 03 10:14
NT excellent, thanks dirtybuck by bigfun on Wed 19 Mar 03 18:56

bad day for a haircut. by sonoftort on Tue 18 Mar 03 16:03

he he he...ha ha ha... lololol... waaa ha ha ha... by Stanky on Wed 19 Mar 03 10:16

Can you guess....... by DirtyBuck on Mon 17 Mar 03 20:23

NM for best enjoyment turn volume UP LOUD... I did... by sonoftort on Mon 17 Mar 03 21:23
NT ha ha ha by Stanky on Thu 20 Mar 03 09:19

Little Johnny by DirtyBuck on Mon 17 Mar 03 20:19

NT Doh... love the "little Johnny" jokes always... ha by Stanky on Wed 19 Mar 03 10:17

loneliness of the long distance trucker by sonoftort on Mon 17 Mar 03 18:59

NT HA HA HA..... very good, thanks SoT. by bigfun on Mon 17 Mar 03 19:10
NMNT lol, thanks sonoftort. Always a good laugh from ya by Jabberwocky on Tue 18 Mar 03 01:32
NT LOL by wotan on Wed 19 Mar 03 01:40

Here is a little potent meter like game.... by René on Mon 17 Mar 03 15:09

NT exxxlcelent!!!... my score sucked though :-( by sonoftort on Mon 17 Mar 03 19:02
NT I like it, thanks rené, by bigfun on Mon 17 Mar 03 19:08
NT nice one, thanks René by wotan on Wed 19 Mar 03 01:38

A classic one I was reminded of..... by SabreWulf on Mon 17 Mar 03 14:27

NT lol, thanks sabrewulf :-) by bigfun on Mon 17 Mar 03 19:09

Sex, Blonde and Videotape. by sonoftort on Sun 16 Mar 03 17:36

NT ho ho ho by bigfun on Mon 17 Mar 03 13:59

what would you do? by sonoftort on Sat 15 Mar 03 15:49

NT lol, do you know that from experience? by captain caveman on Sun 16 Mar 03 14:24

Absurd dilemma to ponder by anonymous on Sat 15 Mar 03 11:25

NMNT well [beep] me... i'd [beep]'n take #1. lol by sonoftort on Sat 15 Mar 03 15:45

When does life begin? by wotan on Fri 14 Mar 03 11:56

Hey Bigfun, I found a picture of your member... by René on Thu 13 Mar 03 18:18

NMNT forbidden for me. can you RP to freewebspace? by sonoftort on Thu 13 Mar 03 19:34
NT lol, thanks rené by bigfun on Fri 14 Mar 03 15:31

Prison Vs. Work.... any difference? by sonoftort on Thu 13 Mar 03 18:06

NM so true, so true... lol by Stanky on Thu 13 Mar 03 21:34
NT nice one, thanks SoT by bigwig on Fri 14 Mar 03 15:34
NT good ones by dingoblue on Sun 16 Mar 03 07:37

why do Elephants have big ears? by sonoftort on Thu 13 Mar 03 00:10

NT he he he, ha ha ha, i like it :-) by bigfun on Fri 14 Mar 03 15:34

Absurd dilemma to ponder by anonymous on Wed 12 Mar 03 05:13

jpg: they were singing, bye, bye, miss... by sonoftort on Tue 11 Mar 03 22:04

he he he... by Stanky on Tue 11 Mar 03 23:25

I'm half Irish, so I can say this joke... by sonoftort on Tue 11 Mar 03 14:33

NT lol, good one by bigfun on Tue 11 Mar 03 17:39

Absurd dilemma to ponder by anonymous on Tue 11 Mar 03 04:17

number two. I would have to have my very own... by sonoftort on Tue 11 Mar 03 14:40
- NT he he he :-) by bigfun on Tue 11 Mar 03 17:41

Now this is a blow job! by DirtyBuck on Mon 10 Mar 03 20:58

NT hehe..reallly cool :-) by donkey on Tue 11 Mar 03 12:03
NT great stuff, thanks. by bigfun on Tue 11 Mar 03 17:42

what's the difference between, light and hard? by sonoftort on Mon 10 Mar 03 16:07

what's the difference between like, love and... by sonoftort on Mon 10 Mar 03 16:10
- What's the difference between a city plumber and by sonoftort on Mon 10 Mar 03 17:36
  - What's the difference between a Lada & a sheep? by sonoftort on Mon 10 Mar 03 17:42
    - NT :-) by Stanky on Mon 10 Mar 03 18:09
NM Whats the difference between....... by DirtyBuck on Mon 10 Mar 03 21:09

repost of previous absurd dilemma by anonymous on Mon 10 Mar 03 10:05

repost of previous absurd dilemma by anonymous on Mon 10 Mar 03 10:06
- sounds like you are in a dilemma ... by redfish on Tue 11 Mar 03 00:33
  - It just makes more sense to post by anonymous on Tue 11 Mar 03 04:13
    - i was just teasing, of course :-) by redfish on Tue 11 Mar 03 15:18

Q:What's green, and rides through the west? by sonoftort on Sun 9 Mar 03 16:38

NT ha ha ha by bigwig on Sun 9 Mar 03 18:13

riddle me this, Batman... by sonoftort on Sun 9 Mar 03 16:35

NT lol by wotan on Mon 10 Mar 03 14:26
NMNT Good one by Jabberwocky on Wed 12 Mar 03 00:21

there once was a boy... by sonoftort on Sun 9 Mar 03 16:32

a couple of funnies for you.......... by bigfun on Sun 9 Mar 03 15:26

NMNT bigfun YHM by sonoftort on Sun 9 Mar 03 16:20

Absurd dilemma to ponder by anonymous on Sun 9 Mar 03 06:22

NT A blurred face, so I can play in Japanese porn :-) by René on Sun 9 Mar 03 16:07

More of the lame jokes and pictures inside... by René on Sat 8 Mar 03 10:11

NT Thanks for the laughs René by floyd on Sat 8 Mar 03 16:14
NT lol, thanks rené by bigwig on Sun 9 Mar 03 15:00

Feeling stress ? See inside for relief by Hobgoblin on Fri 7 Mar 03 07:36

NT I feel much worse now, thanks ;-) by superfly on Sat 8 Mar 03 06:21
NT creepy-ly soothing... thanks by Stanky on Sat 8 Mar 03 10:07
NMNT ahhhhhhh, much better. Thanks Hobgoblin. by floyd on Sat 8 Mar 03 10:10

evil joke by Hobgoblin on Fri 7 Mar 03 07:03

NT lol, I like it :-) by superfly on Sat 8 Mar 03 06:19
NT very funny! thanks by Stanky on Sat 8 Mar 03 10:08

Funny Newscaster slip up (porn on his mind) by Oralvr on Thu 6 Mar 03 11:30

NM ha ha ha... gotta love live broadcasting... errr by Stanky on Sat 8 Mar 03 10:12

Whatch out i'am setting a fire :-) by Ultra on Wed 5 Mar 03 03:08

NM nothing like an unfunny statement by minion on Thu 6 Mar 03 05:43
- NT What about useless statment? by Ultra on Fri 7 Mar 03 17:54
  - I stand corrected by minion on Sat 8 Mar 03 01:57
    - NT I just try to be funny :- ) by Ultra on Sat 8 Mar 03 04:04

some funny clips by Guy Melef on Tue 4 Mar 03 07:55

maby I should move to hollywood... by donkey on Tue 4 Mar 03 05:15

NT hang on, i will come with you :-) by bigfun on Tue 4 Mar 03 14:28
NMNT from the flick "Cruel Ingestions"? lol by sonoftort on Tue 4 Mar 03 20:16
NMNT BTW:shouldn't it read:'maybe she's "porn" with it' by sonoftort on Tue 4 Mar 03 22:18

Who would've thunk it... by spamonko on Sun 2 Mar 03 23:24

NT lol... striking resemblance he he he by Stanky on Mon 3 Mar 03 06:03
NMNT Yep, he's just had a rough night and no hair dye. by Jabberwocky on Tue 4 Mar 03 01:44
- Last night on "late night with Jimmy Kimmel"... by Stanky on Tue 4 Mar 03 09:42

Celebrity Day Jobs by DirtyBuck on Sun 2 Mar 03 13:03

Article clipped from 1955 by Guy Melef on Sat 1 Mar 03 20:37

NT If only it were like that.... lol. by Stanky on Sat 1 Mar 03 22:08
NM 'Be a little g a y...' (point 3) ?? Never thought by René on Sun 2 Mar 03 08:02

OSHA Notice by Guy Melef on Sat 1 Mar 03 20:32

Grow-a-foot penis creme by Guy Melef on Sat 1 Mar 03 20:30

NT lol by Stanky on Sat 1 Mar 03 22:05

Small comfort by wotan on Sat 1 Mar 03 09:43

link correction by wotan on Sat 1 Mar 03 09:45

Poet vs oculist by wotan on Sat 1 Mar 03 08:57

5 questions women ask and men hate by DirtyBuck on Fri 28 Feb 03 19:26

does anyone else get............ by bigfun on Fri 28 Feb 03 18:48

NT The user error does sound familiair... ;-) by René on Sat 1 Mar 03 07:08
uhuh when i press ok nothing happen... help ! lol by Ultra on Sat 1 Mar 03 17:24
- NM hey ultra, you think that is bad, check........ by bigfun on Sat 1 Mar 03 19:00
  - SCRIPT alert ("Mouhahahah'') /SCRIPT by Ultra on Sun 2 Mar 03 12:50

more adult cartoon funny's by Stanky on Fri 28 Feb 03 18:40

NT good ones, thanks stanky by bigfun on Fri 28 Feb 03 18:46
NMNT Thanks for the laughs by Whatisit on Sat 1 Mar 03 14:54
NMNT Good ones stanky! by spamonko on Sun 2 Mar 03 23:28

is your version of MS word like mine? by bigfun on Fri 28 Feb 03 15:57

NT lol by Stanky on Fri 28 Feb 03 18:42

Why I missed work today by DirtyBuck on Fri 28 Feb 03 10:41

NT lol, i like it, thanks. by bigfun on Fri 28 Feb 03 15:44
NMNT DirtyBuck... your work constantly deserves an A+ by sonoftort on Fri 28 Feb 03 20:51
- thanks sonoftort...inside... by DirtyBuck on Fri 28 Feb 03 22:06
  - thats cool man... by sonoftort on Fri 28 Feb 03 23:01

Some bloody (awfull) jokes.... by René on Thu 27 Feb 03 18:00

NM hey René, you think they're bad? try this one... by sonoftort on Thu 27 Feb 03 20:20
- NT oooooooooooh....... lol by bigfun on Fri 28 Feb 03 01:28
- NT Its so bad, I dont even get it.... ;-) by René on Sat 1 Mar 03 07:06
some more tampon jokes inside by Stanky on Fri 28 Feb 03 18:25
- NM why do tampons have strings??? by sonoftort on Sat 1 Mar 03 05:12
  - yo mama's so fat, her tampon is... by Stanky on Sat 1 Mar 03 09:52

some cartoons by Stanky on Thu 27 Feb 03 10:12

NT hehe!! funny stuff :-) thx by donkey on Thu 27 Feb 03 10:47
NT wow ..... great stuff by mpqz99 on Thu 27 Feb 03 11:27
NT some LOL by wotan on Fri 28 Feb 03 15:03

10 Million Iraqis by DirtyBuck on Wed 26 Feb 03 18:23

NT LOL by minion on Wed 26 Feb 03 19:42
NMNT lol! lol! lol! by elbow on Fri 28 Feb 03 08:49
Re: 10 Million Iraqis by wotan on Fri 28 Feb 03 14:59

Shakespeare, and a room full of monkeys... by sonoftort on Wed 26 Feb 03 17:26

NT lol by Stanky on Fri 28 Feb 03 09:19
you're slightly wrong: theory says that... by wotan on Fri 28 Feb 03 14:46

he says, she says: by sonoftort on Wed 26 Feb 03 17:23

NT I'm not a lady at all, but LOL by wotan on Fri 28 Feb 03 14:39

funny quotes.... by bigfun on Wed 26 Feb 03 16:23

Re: funny quotes.... by wotan on Fri 28 Feb 03 14:37

time for toast by ToastMaster on Wed 26 Feb 03 05:33

Short jokes by SuperFly TNT on Wed 26 Feb 03 05:23

NT Hehehe. Some good ones there. by greatful on Sun 2 Mar 03 21:36

The worlds' religions according to HolyShit by HolyShit on Wed 26 Feb 03 05:05

holy shit , i never realised there were..... by bigfun on Wed 26 Feb 03 16:26
NT HolyShit!! Hahahahahahah :- ) by Ultra on Thu 27 Feb 03 04:06

Sudden Death by Death on Wed 26 Feb 03 04:19

NT poor buggar by dingoblue on Wed 26 Feb 03 07:13
NT lol by bigfun on Wed 26 Feb 03 16:23

here's one for all my friends in Canada... by sonoftort on Tue 25 Feb 03 20:27

NM eh? by redfish on Fri 28 Feb 03 00:00

a old one........ by bigfun on Tue 25 Feb 03 17:08

this is one I heard as a kid, it's dumb but... by sonoftort on Tue 25 Feb 03 15:03

thanks SOT, it is a good job you...... by bigfun on Tue 25 Feb 03 17:02

A Joke by xela on Tue 25 Feb 03 11:09

lol......may be one ice-cream can do by mpqz99 on Tue 25 Feb 03 14:38
good one xela, but isnt this........ by bigfun on Tue 25 Feb 03 17:01
NT its quite funny i reckon by dingoblue on Wed 26 Feb 03 07:06

One has to wonder... by Stanky on Tue 25 Feb 03 09:52

NT lol by bigfun on Tue 25 Feb 03 16:59

old joke by anonymous on Tue 25 Feb 03 04:41

Joke... by Ultra on Tue 25 Feb 03 00:54

Recent banned joke on the BBC. by spearchucker on Tue 25 Feb 03 00:46

LOL, Yeah just once I would like to hear... by Jabberwocky on Tue 25 Feb 03 04:40

Well I'll give it a shot.... by Jabberwocky on Mon 24 Feb 03 23:00

two bums discuss their day by DirtyBuck on Mon 24 Feb 03 21:30

NT eeew make sure no sensitive ppl read this hehe :-) by Ultra on Mon 24 Feb 03 23:39

what do you call a bus load of link theifs going.. by sonoftort on Mon 24 Feb 03 19:51

NM I am not good to understant your jokes SOT... by Ultra on Mon 24 Feb 03 23:45
NT to be honest, i dont understand the jokes either by dingoblue on Wed 26 Feb 03 07:04
- NM sorry, maybe I should just... by sonoftort on Wed 26 Feb 03 14:52
  - NT Don't apologise, must be the greeen :- ) by Ultra on Thu 27 Feb 03 04:08
  - NT ;-) by Stanky on Thu 27 Feb 03 10:15

2homes back onto a sewer.which is the link thiefs? by sonoftort on Mon 24 Feb 03 19:38

why did the leper leave the party?... by sonoftort on Mon 24 Feb 03 19:33

NT disgusting but funny ;) by donkey on Tue 25 Feb 03 13:05

3 black dudes are... by sonoftort on Mon 24 Feb 03 19:30

two buckets of vomit are walking down the... by sonoftort on Mon 24 Feb 03 18:38

maybe a bit sexist.......... by bigfun on Mon 24 Feb 03 17:22

NMNT The wife loved it ! LOL by Jabberwocky on Mon 24 Feb 03 22:40
NT lol very funny, thx bigfun :- ) by Ultra on Tue 25 Feb 03 00:44

Is this a Joke ? lol hi all :- ) by Ultra on Mon 24 Feb 03 03:23

An elderly man goes into confession ... by wotan on Mon 24 Feb 03 02:10

some two lined stanza by wotan on Mon 24 Feb 03 02:05

good stuff... by Stanky on Tue 25 Feb 03 09:58

funny but true.......... by bigfun on Sun 23 Feb 03 18:55

NT That's great! by Stanky on Sun 23 Feb 03 22:07
NMNT that...... is.......... BRILLIANT! by sonoftort on Mon 24 Feb 03 19:35
NT LOL by wotan on Wed 26 Feb 03 02:04
NT i suppose they dont have too many callers by dingoblue on Wed 26 Feb 03 07:11

Swedish Ebonics... by nowhereman on Sun 23 Feb 03 15:26

Why was the Tomato blushing? by René on Sun 23 Feb 03 10:42

Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? by René on Sun 23 Feb 03 10:44
- What's the worst part about eating vegetables? by René on Sun 23 Feb 03 10:47
  - NM WTG René lol i wish to order a pizza undress... by Ultra on Mon 24 Feb 03 23:29
- NT lol by bigfun on Sun 23 Feb 03 14:16

learn to read japenese...... by bigfun on Sun 23 Feb 03 09:33

NT damn freewebspace, no remote linking....... by captain caveman on Sun 23 Feb 03 09:47
- NM here is the direct link inside.......... by bigfun on Sun 23 Feb 03 09:48
  - NM That's why i hang in here :- ) by Ultra on Mon 24 Feb 03 23:26

getting old by Stanky on Sun 23 Feb 03 09:19

This guy walks into a bar... it hurt by Stanky on Sun 23 Feb 03 09:18

Version = 56k-0--1-308.txt

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