Democrat presidential candidate Sen. Hillary Clinton today announced that her new ‘jobs plan’ will create steady income for 3 million Americans by allowing unemployed people to earmark Congressional spending for their own “personal pork barrel projects”.  

“When I’m president, every American will have the same unchecked power that I used to secure $296.2 million in federal tax dollars for projects in my home state last year,” said Sen. Clinton. “Earmark spending helps me keep my job, and soon it will provide similar benefits for millions of others without the stress that comes from finding work, or running a profitable business.”  

Under the terms of Sen. Clinton’s Personal Income Guarantee plan, after Congress passes its annual budget, unemployed citizens and ‘citizen-equivalents’, can designate funds for their own ‘projects’ without legislative review.  

In a rare display of unity, Democrat rival Sen. Barack Obama, who last year tallied $97.4 million in earmarks for Illinois, endorsed Sen. Clinton’s proposal, and suggested that “she introduce the bill in 2009 when she becomes Senate majority leader.”  

Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain, who had no earmarks in 2007, rejected the plan, saying, “I believe in self-reliance. If you want a good job, with a guaranteed income for life, here’s some straight talk: It’s up to you pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and get elected to Congress.”